


Defining a Man

by yunmin



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Backstory, Character Study, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Poe's Family, Pre-OT3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-01
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2018-05-10 23:11:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5604484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yunmin/pseuds/yunmin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As a kid, people were known to refer to Poe Dameron as <i>reckless</i>.</p>
<p>He never really grew out of it. But as he aged, there were better words to describe him. <i>Inspired. Dedicated. Resilient.</i> From a childhood fed on stories of breathless heroics to the best pilot in the Resistance, Poe has never been easy to pin down.</p>
<p>But that was before he crash-landed on Jakku and adopted an ex-stormtrooper and a scavenger.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Defining a Man

**Author's Note:**

> So I saw TFA and promptly fell in love with Poe Dameron and actually everyone else in the movie but especially Poe, and this sort of happened. Some of the stuff about Poe's backstory is cobbled together from the additional materials, some of it is completely made up. Also still trying to work my way round the extended star wars canon, so if I've made any really stupid mistakes, please let me know! I hope you enjoy!

As a kid, people were known to refer to Poe Dameron as _reckless_.

It's probably only fair. He was an impulsive child ‒ drove his grandfather nuts, from the moment he could crawl, getting into everywhere he shouldn't be. He once almost fell out of the apartment window. Leaning out to try and feel the wind, the swoop of gravity, only his grandfather noticed in time and grabbed an ankle before Poe fell to the ground. "Just like your mother was at your age," he mutters, as Poe squirms happily in his lap. "Full of mischief."

Poe lives for tales of his parents. He's tiny, not aware of the war or why his parents are away. Neither is he the only child being raised by another family member in their community. But Poe's parents are still alive, and they'll come back to him. If he starts fussing, his grandfather puts him in his swing seat, and tells him tales of danger and resistance and flying, which makes Poe screech in delight, bouncing his little limbs around.

His parents return eventually. They build a new house on Yavin 4 with a tree in the backyard that Poe is told is a gift from the legendary hero Luke Skywalker. Poe grows up on yet more tales of the heroism of the Rebel Alliance and the treachery of the Empire.

When he is six years old his mother takes him up in her old fighter and it's the most exhilarating experience yet in Poe's short life. Better than every single one of his playground exploits, better than when his parents came home, better even than the time Han Solo turned up at their door asking for his mother's advice. He comes back down with a look of absolute glee on his face and his father just sighs. "You teach him to fly, I'll teach him hand to hand, and we both pray that the galaxy is a safer place by the time he's old enough to fight."

By the time he is eight, he could fly his mother's RZ-1 A-Wing blindfolded, but he isn't allowed to. And then she dies and he doesn't fly any more, because his father won't allow Poe to risk his life flying before he's old enough to know what it means. So Poe curls up in the top branches of the tree, surrounded by the Force and the fear of falling all that way down. He never does, even when he falls asleep in the precarious upper branches. His father looks up and thanks Luke Skywalker for the gift of the tree, one of the few comforts to his son in the time of his grief.

At twelve, Poe is allowed to take flying lessons for the first time. Apart from an initial stumble where all the controls are in a completely different place from his mother's ship, he takes to it like a Flamanmarsh to mud. For the first time since his mother's death, there isn't an aching hole inside of him. Flying takes all that away, sets every muscle and nerve alight with joy and warmth and he can feel his mother's hands behind him, guiding his hands around daring manoeuvres.

Flying is perfection; the essential balm to his reckless spirit.

.

He passes through reckless and moves quickly onto _inspired_.

Seventeen sees him win an amateur pod-racing competition. His father didn't know he'd entered, and Poe intended to keep it that way, only his win makes the news and he gets a long lecture on how that wasn't the smart thing to do. "Take a step into the next lane and it's illegal," his father warns. A criminal record shouldn't be a hindrance to flying, Poe thinks, but apparently the Republic don't look too fondly on junior law-breakers joining their ranks.

His grandfather proves his salvation once again, finding him an apprenticeship alongside a mechanic, where Poe can learn starfighter machinery as well as he does the controls. He finds this less intuitive, less natural then flying, but he enjoys it, and appreciates the chance to learn something useful. The meagre wage he gets goes towards buying the shell for a ship, a junker older than anything his mother learnt in. Then he starts salvaging parts, intent on building something that won't just lift off, but can run just as well as any modern ship.

Poe pours hours of love and devotion into that ship, as if faith will make it fly. His father is glad that his boy is staying out of trouble; his grandfather glad that he's found something to do with his talents. His mother, if she was here, would just be glad to see him flying. He names the ship Shara, so she will always be with him.

He makes a name for himself. Not just for his ship, or his previous pod-racing victory, but as a man who will try his absolute damn hardest to get your ship back running. His master, Lak-Shei, is impressed with his performance and the custom he brings in. Grants him even more freedom then he had before. The only rule is that the work must be finished and the customers happy. Beyond that, Poe's time is his own. And he spends it trying to do outrageous tricks and pushing every last jot of speed he can out of Shara.

It works. Not the way he intends it to, but it works. Poe is nineteen when an officer of the Republic turns up at his door, looking to recruit him. And by that age, Poe is old enough to say yes, regardless of what anyone else thinks. He is happy with his life, on Yavin 4, but he is only dreaming of how much more good he could do as a member of the Republic's Navy.

He leaves Shara with Lak-Shei, saying that she can be flown by anyone who loves flying and is willing to spend an hour or two maintaining her. If he can leave Yavin 4 having given one more desperate pilot a chance to reach for the stars, that'll be a good thing.

.

The word on everyone's lips about new hot shot pilot Poe Dameron is _prodigy_.

Poe shakes his head when he hears it; it's ridiculous. He isn't a prodigy. He's too old for that title, for a start. And he works hard, has been in the cockpit since the tender age of six, knows how to deconstruct and build a ship from a pile of scrap. Those are the reasons he's good at his job.

(The Force-Sensitive Tree in his backyard that his mother rescued from a Jedi Temple might have had something to do with it, but Poe's keeping his mouth shut on that one.)

The news that his mother is legendary pilot Shara Bey doesn't take long to get out, and Poe discovers that there are many stories about her antics that he's never heard before; and that there are even more when the Republic's version of the story differs greatly to the one his grandfather told him. There are no shortage of tales about his father either.

It would be easy to become arrogant, with a family history like Poe's and his piloting skills, his swift rise through the ranks. He doesn't ever quite manage it. He is cocky, relentlessly sure of himself, with a warm confidence and good charm. Completely aware of how good he is, how handsome he is, but without the arrogance that surrounds some of the other Republic pilots. All one has to do is observe Poe with his astromech droid, BB-8, and see that the pilot has a soft heart.

He is dedicated to the Republic cause, mindful of all the lives that were lost to give them the life they have today. And that means he flies every operation to the best of his ability, be it patrolling remote sectors for pirates and scavengers or routine supply runs. He inspires the best in his fellow pilots too, always ready with quick words of praise and encouragement. It doesn't take long for the Republic to entrust him with command of a squadron, and he proves himself a worthy leader as well.

.

At twenty-one Poe Dameron learns the meaning of the word _destruction_.

He is home, to Yavin 4, to celebrate his grandfather's seventieth birthday. Stepping out into the back yard to grab some air, BB-8 whistling away alongside him ‒ Yes, Grandpa might be getting a little carried away, and no, BB-8, Poe had no intentions of bedding the young man who had been winking at him all evening, despite how attractive he might be ‒ Poe comes to a halt. He had been contemplating where his Droid picked these sort of things up, especially the strange fascination with Poe's love life, but it pales away.

The Force Tree is dying.

Poe was out here earlier, not hours before, and the tree was fine. In good health. Now, it is grey, black, rot moving swiftly up its branches. Leaves have lost their green and have plummeted off the tree. The life has just been sucked out of it in an instant. Poe dashes over, looking for a way to halt the destruction, praying for the tree to take a piece of his life in exchange ‒ to live. The tree was brought by his mother, remains as tangible proof that she was there and loved her family. It was her who brought the tree to thrive. And now it is dying.

But Poe is not enough to bring the tree back to life. Nothing is. But Poe manages to break one of the least damaged branches off the tree, and take it in his hands, and a spark of green comes back. He yells for his grandfather, and gets the last surviving piece of a once great tree potted, before asking what on earth just happened.

"I don't know," his father says, surveying the ruins. "But I'd put good money on a disturbance in the Force."

Poe's father is not a betting man; so Poe thinks he must be right.

He doesn't learn how bad it is until he gets back to base. There are tales of an incident at the new Jedi temple, but nothing that would cause the destruction Poe saw. He tracks down Luta Rainassan, a minor Onderonian politician, who Poe has had dalliances with in the past, and gets the whole story out of her. The New Jedi Order destroyed, by one of the apprentices, Luke Skywalker distraught and already gone beyond the reach of the Republic. Poe doesn't know much about the Force, but that sounds like it might have done it. He's grateful for the single sprig he saved; proof that there is always a way to salvage some light from the darkest of places.

.

The First Order grows, and Poe understands what they mean by _rebellion_.

He has risen through the ranks. Flight Commander, now, one of the best pilots for the Republic, Squadron Leader. Stationed at the Mirrin Base, under Lorno Desso, their main duty to patrol shipping lanes and protect ships against piracy. It is a valiant task, and someone needs to do it. But Poe knows the First Order is growing, and poses a significant threat to the Republic, and yet no one is doing anything about it.

Interplanetary defences have fallen in the years since the Empire fell. The Rebel Alliance is no more. If the First Order decide to strike, who will be there to defend the civilians, the innocent, those who didn't choose to get caught in this conflict? Poe doesn't remember the last war, but he grew up on the stories ‒ which is more than he can say for most of his squadron ‒ the tale of Alderaan's destruction, long years hiding in Rebel Bases, the amount of luck required to defeat the Empire. He's not convinced that the universe has that much luck left.

But Poe doesn't have any pull on Republic policy. No matter how hard he tries to charm his superior officers, no matter how many calls to Luta he makes ‒ Poe, darling, I adore you but Republic Policy is to not engage, you know that ‒ nothing happens.

Even run-ins with TIE fighters decidedly not where they should be aren't enough. It takes some fancy flying to outmanoeuvre those things. The First Order has clearly ploughed money into research and development for those things, and it makes Poe angry, because all this time the Republic is falling behind and it's going to get people killed. Most of his squad mates agree, and that makes it even more frustrating. They could be doing something.

So when General Organa turns up, desperately seeking information about Poe's latest mission, and then offers him a place in the Resistance, Poe takes it with eager arms.

.

General Organa quickly sees that Poe is exactly like his mother; reckless, passionate, determined, and absolutely _loyal_.

The young man before her is chomping at the bit to be allowed to do something, anything, to help fight. It takes little to persuade him to join the Resistance. His squad mates too. A little more negotiation and Leia procures Poe's astromech droid, a transfer of his rank, and guarantee of extra funding from the Republic for the Resistance. All she wanted was information. She got a whole lot more.

Poe is a coup; easily the best pilot the Resistance has had since Luke and Han went wandering and Wedge Antilles retired. Leia notes his charm, his ease with people, and after letting him settle into his position she starts sending him scouting, recruiting, gathering information. He proves himself a more than capable leader. His presence makes every other pilot want to do better. His cheer brightens spirits.

Three months after she recruits him, Poe goes missing after what should have been a routine supply drop. Kun and Arana, his old squad mates from the Republic, were with him. They were ambushed by TIE fighters, then Arana's guns jammed, and Poe ordered a retreat. They'd thought he was with them. He wasn't.

The thirty-six hours passes. There is no sign of Poe, and so they have to declare him missing-in-action. Thankfully, presumed-dead requires a little more time. Leia bows her head and remembers Shara Bey, the cheerful dark haired woman who'd leant air support to so many battles Leia had fought in. Poe is so like his mother, that Leia struggles to remember his father ‒ but she does, Kes Dameron, one of the Pathfinders who'd been with them on Endor. And if she thinks more she can remember them together, and Shara showing Leia the picture she keeps in her compass of Kes holding a tiny newborn baby.

Poe is all grown up now, not even her child, but she has lost hers to a place she cannot rescue him, and she does not want to see another parent lose a child to anything avoidable. Duty would take her to Kes Dameron's door, and she cannot bear to see the same look of grief that he wore at his wife's funeral all those years ago.

Luckily, she does not have too. Seventy-two more hours sees Poe safely back on base, with his droid whistling away about footage of the First Order they've managed to gather. He is no worse for wear, not a scratch on him, but the pilots all pile onto him as if he'd fought a hundred stormtroopers tooth and nail to get out. Poe is joyfully exuberant in his celebrations, embracing everyone who comes into his path, kissing more than his fair share of them. Leia maintains her best General stance near the base. BB-8 is whistling their master's apologies away, but Leia can't find it in herself to care.

"So, General, what's the next mission?" is Poe's first sentence when he sees her. And after that, Leia knows ‒ he is a soldier she will always be able to count on, who won't run when the battle gets tough.

.

There's a word for how Poe treats Kylo Ren, and it's somewhere in-between _insolence_ and _bravery_.

Really, Poe's just trying to buy as much time as he possibly can for BB-8's escape to go unnoticed. But it's also difficult to be intimidated by a guy whose whole schtick relies on mystery and misunderstanding of the force, when you know exactly who he used to be.

Ben Solo was amongst the mourners at Shara Bey's funeral, a three year old tot in his father's arms. Confused as to the goings on around him, he'd screamed out for his mother at some point. Poe remembers because of how desperately he'd wanted his mother at that point, that he'd cried too when Leia had swept in to calm her son's tears.

He's also heard tales, from General Organa, of some of her son's less dignified childhood escapades. While it clearly pains her to talk about her son, Leia also knows that he is a million times less threatening if every resistance member has a picture of him dangling off the Millenium Falcon, naked, covered in mud, in their heads.

And so Poe makes use of his best defence on the ground. His mouth. He talks, engaging Kylo Ren in banter, gets a few hits of sass in. Does everything he can to direct the conversation away from the map. He knows he won't face death any time soon. Regardless of the fact that he knows where the knowledge of Luke Skywalker's location is, the information he could give the First Order on the Resistance is more than enough to make him a worthy captive.

All he needs to do is hold out long enough to give BB-8 time to escape Jakku and get back to the resistance.

.

_Resilient_ is the only word to describe Poe's next few days.

Tortured by Kylo Ren, his mind invaded by the Force, the location of the Map taken out of his head. Poe fights to the best of his ability, forces the location of the map to the back of his head while bringing all of his memories of Leia and Han and Ben to the forefront. It is to no avail, but maybe he's proved that Poe Dameron isn't going down without a fight.

And then he is rescued by a Stormtrooper. One who takes off his helmet and speaks of doing the right thing, even though Poe can see that he just wants out of the First Order, and that he just needs a pilot to do that. But escape is escape, especially as it brings the opportunity to pilot one of those TIE fighters. Poe's been wanting to get his mitts on one since he first saw them.

Sometimes though, being an excellent pilot and ruthlessly charming just isn't enough, and while the Stormtrooper ‒ Finn ‒ turns out to be an excellent shot, they end up down in the desert of Jakku, separated and alone.

Poe makes it out eventually, bereft of his jacket and his droid and any meaningful information. Gets a ship he can fly out to D'Qar. When he manages to pick up Resistance communications, it is Jessika Pava's excited tones that greet him. "It's Poe, it's Poe, he's alive!" Poe can't hear it, but he suspects the news ripples throughout the whole Resistance in a matter of seconds. When he lands, Pava giving his new ship an escort in, General Organa is there standing on the landing pad. Her eyes are full of concern as Poe drags himself out of the cockpit. He's clapped on the back by a number of the pilots, and Pava herself drags him out to look him over for injuries. "I'm fine," Leia hears Poe say.

"Yeah, Jess, he's fine," Wexley, another of the pilots says, but with concern in his own eyes. Pava lets go of the tight hold she has on his jacket, and Poe stumbles over to Leia.

"BB-8 has the map," is the first words out of his mouth. "I left him on Jakku with it. I got captured by the First Order ‒ your son is a piece of work, by the way ‒ but a Stormtrooper helped me escape." Leia raises an eyebrow. "His name is Finn, and he might be looking for us, but I promise General you can trust him."

There is so much there for Leia to unpack. But the fact that Poe is still standing is a miracle. "The First Order is still looking for BB-8. We've been looking ever since we saw they wanted it." Poe nods, relief and exhaustion settling into his system. "Now, you need to get cleared by Medical, and get something resembling sleep."

Poe just nods, willingly going with the med droid. His lack of argument speaks to just how exhausted he is, and Leia can only imagine the amount of effort it must have taken to keep the map secret for long enough that BB-8 is still on the run.

She means to make a note for a full psych-eval on Poe's file, but gets distracted by one of her advisors asking her about what the Resistance's next move should be. It will wait. There are other priorities.

.

_Dedication_ to the cause sees Poe back in his x-wing not many hours later, flying out to Takodana to retrieve BB-8.

He's glad that Leia made him take a different x-wing to Jakku. "Yours isn't exactly conspicuous," she'd said. That one is probably being torn apart for scrap, if it wasn't completely destroyed by the First Order. To be back in Black One is a relief, the ship responsive to his every command, as they sweep low passes over the ground in front of Maz Kanata's place.

"Yo, Black Leader, that dude is totally wearing your jacket," Pava yells at some point. Poe is over water, chasing a rogue TIE fighter; he's pretty sure Jess is just teasing. Though that definitely is the Millenium Falcon in the corner, and he's convinced he saw someone wielding a lightsaber a moment ago, so anything is possible.

They get back to base, escorting the Millenium Falcon. Poe keeps himself fair out the way, as the Resistance Leadership moves in, as Leia gets her reunion with Han. Poe has a squadron to supervise, cool downs to run, damage reports. He's only part way through all the checks, working out who took hits and whether they can do repairs when a familiar set of chirps and whistles races towards him.

BB-8 is followed by a familiar face, and Poe knows joy like he hasn't felt since he first flew at the sight of Finn alive, wearing his jacket, just standing there amongst all the members of the Resistance.

It is Poe's generous heart that leads him to gift Finn the jacket permanently. The poor man seems to have nothing but that Jacket, his name (both of which Poe gave him), and an overriding drive to find his friend.

Poe can appreciate that.

.

Rey watches Poe at Finn's bedside and the only word she can think to describe him is _caring_.

This isn't the first time they've met; they were together when the map to Skywalker was uncovered, and Rey had been treated to one of his encompassing hugs and dazzling smiles. But this is the first time where she's had the time to consider him. He is vulnerable, sitting on the edge of the chair as he tries to talk Finn back into waking. Finn and BB-8 had both had good words to say about the man, and now Rey thinks she can see why.

"How is he?" Rey asks. All she's got out of the med droids is that he isn't in immediate danger. She suspects that Poe might have more information.

"Well the blow didn't sever his spine, but there's an ongoing argument about quite what the nerve damage will be. We don't have a scanner that could tell, and it'll be a while til we can requisition one, so we probably won't know until he wakes up. Everything else is superficial, though I think they're a little worried about the possibility of head trauma." Poe brushes his thumb over the back of Finn's hand, concern radiating from every fibre of his being.

"Will he wake up?"

Rey has no experience of this type of injury; on Jakku, they were minor and you fixed them yourself, or they were fatal.

Poe smiles, very gently, looking up at her with gentle eyes. "They're keeping him in a medical coma, to give his body a chance to heal. It'll be a couple of weeks before they withdraw that and then we'll see."

"If you know he's not going to wake up, why are you talking to him?"

"They say that it can help. That coma patients can hear their loved ones talking to them." Poe grasps Rey's hand, and places it atop Finn's. He shuffles out of the chair, letting her take it. "Talk to him. Your voice is probably the best he could hear right now." BB-8 chirps agreement, and Rey sits. Poe places a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "It doesn't matter what you say, so don't worry about it."

Poe leaves, because he knows it's easier to speak when you don't think anyone is listening, and there's an awful lot that Rey needs to get off her chest.

.

A couple of days later and all anyone who looks at Poe Dameron can think is that he looks _weary_.

General Organa catches him, in a corridor, going between his room and Finn's. She has a number of things to discuss with him, but one look at him and she decides most of them can wait.

"You're sending Rey out." Poe's tone is neutral and contains no judgement, even though his face has contorted itself into worry.

"Every day that she isn't looking for him is another day that she goes untrained and my brother shirks his duties even more. Chewie and R2 will go with her, and she'll take the Falcon."

Poe nods.

"I know this was going to be your mission, but I need you here, and I think Rey stands a better chance of bringing him back."

"I know that," Poe agrees. He shifts the potted plant in his hands. "It was always a long shot, the idea of sending me on that mission. And I have duties here."

"Yes, you do." Leia has a long list of tasks for Poe to accomplish, and she only hopes that he rises to the challenge of them. "But for now, you should go to Finn. Is that for him?"

She inclines her head towards the plant. She's seen it in Poe's quarters before, one of his few constant possessions. It looks significantly worse for wear since she last saw it. "It's a Force-Sensitive tree," Poe explains. "Took a bit of a battering when the Hosnian-System was destroyed. So I thought it and Finn could recover together, especially seeing as Finn seems to be Force-Sensitive."

"It's a good idea," Leia says. She reaches her fingers out and watches a green leaf sprout from a tender branch, the response to a caress from the Force. "Rest up, Poe. The Resistance needs you."

Poe accepts that inevitably with grace as he leaves, hurrying towards the medical wing. Leia can think of one word to describe Poe she hasn't used before:

_Besotted_.

**Author's Note:**

> you can also find me on [tumblr](drinkupthesunrise.tumblr.com) where at the moment i'm mostly just shrieking about poe.


End file.
